All the Beirut news.

I am off to London for 16 days. Therefore, I may be silent over here. I somehow have been for a while now. I went from posting every 2 days for over 2 months back to posting once every week now. It's like I drained myself out over here for the previous months and all of a sudden, allow me to borrow this statement, I have nothing to say.

I have been very occupied with my fieldwork. I am immersed in hundreds of documents on a daily basis. Essential items I carry around include water for thirst, a wallet to buy myself out of trouble, and a camera to snap the documents. I finish by 7 p.m., come home, change into my gym outfit and head out for some cardio. Sometimes I am too exhausted for that, like today, and I just lie down in bed while I transfer the snaps from the camera to my laptop. I occasionally do some filing but it's very time consuming and thus I know the bulk of it will have to wait till after March when I'm settled and have abundant time for the filing.

But, the archives are huge and I feel that I'm getting nothing done. That's how big they are. If I manage to get around 100 documents out of my way per day, meaning around 100 x 6 = 600 per week, it still isn't much. I need to cover over 8000 documents. At this rate, having finished 1000 documents, I need another 3 months to finish the 7000.

But in fairness to me, I've done quite considerable oral history where I've interviewed relevant people, some of them notables. I have also been able to build great connections and have been able to locate many documents, many rare books and rare photographs, and this kind of research is also time-consuming and it took me a few weeks to a month to get this all sorted.

As for oral history, I intend to leave the rest of it until I am done with written documents. This means most interviews - apart from the occasional ones I intend to conduct within the coming 3 months - will have to wait till February. Then, in addition to the interviews, I have to do street, organizational, construction and architectural surveying, which sounds easy but is quite arduous and may be confusing even if you have considerable training in and knowledge of architectural history.

This should be completed by March. All this. Then, I am off to France. Thank goodness we're allowed to use cameras over there. Therefore, I can depend on my basic knowledge of French and take snaps of whatever documents I find useful. When I return to London and begin filing, I'll translate these documents at my pace, with the help of software, dictionaries, mom and some friends. However, to be on the safe side, I am getting myself a personal tutor - prior to my France trip - when I have more time in February to give me daily private lessons for a month. It'll be a good boost for whatever basic knowledge of French I have got.

Then, I'm estimating I'll be back in London by early May, almost 5 months ahead of my schedule. This is good because apart from missing London, I'll be doing more research at the British Library and the Public Records Office and filing the documents I got from Lebanon and France with more time at hand. This way if I find I'm missing anything, I'll have time to go back and get whatever I want. I'm going to be in Lebanon for a small period during the summer and France is a train ride away and I can go there anytime. So, voila!

But, I am thinking of postponing France till June because it is much easier to find cheap accommodation in student halls in the summer time. It's just a thought. I'm not sure yet.

Talking about money, it's quite costly. This year my school paid off 85% of my fees but I am paying for everything else... Luckily, there are a number of scholarships for next year which I am eligible for and I intend to apply to them as soon as possible. They cover every single cost for nothing in return. I hope I get something. Please oh please. I deserve it. I've also decided to consider writing for money. I am not bad with writing and I could make some money off it. I've started applying here and there. Just some freelance stuff. Fingers crossed. But it all depends on my time. I don't want to stuff myself on the expense of my PhD.

It seems figured out, right? Regardless, I still have no idea how I am going to put together around a minimum of 80,000 words (preferably 100, 000 words). But, a lot of PhD students and forums keep saying that a PhD doesn't just happen; you don't just wake up one day and find that it's done, and I guess this is part of the reason why I fret from time to time over why I don't know where I stand. So I just have to calm down and remind myself that a thesis is something that happens with time and thus I won't see it happening anytime before I get half way through it and that's probably by early 2010.

I promised myself I wouldn't fall into the mistake of last year. I really undermined the amount of self-discipline, hard-work and persistence a PhD requires. I ended up slacking off and reached the end of the year with so much piled up that the month of May had to happen. What a month! But I pulled it off. I slept for 2 to 4 hours every 24 hours and lived off high doses of proplus and lots of nescafe. I am a damn hero and I am really good at working under pressure. Put me anywhere under pressure and I come out a survivor. This doesn't mean that I don't panic and get exhausted and depressed; I do. After all, I am human.

Anyways, this year I am a different person. I have a life, I socialize, I go to the gym, I relax, I enjoy myself and I also work on my PhD. Each is equally important and I had to learn this the hard way. Regardless, it's a lesson learnt. And I can't begin to explain how dedicated to the gym I am. It has become probably the number 1 priority in my life that I sometimes arrange my whole day and my friends, even my PhD work, according to the gym. The release and the relief I get from the gym is worth everything else combined together. Plus, it insures that the fat doesn't pile up because I am someone who enjoys her food, her popcorn and her sugar.

I just want to finish my PhD on time. I really don't wish to request for a 6 months extension. Ideally, I am supposed to finish in September 2010 and I am working towards that. But, from what I know, a large number of PhD students have not only requested for 6 months but also for 1 year and some 2 years. I already know 4 students like that. I actually know a guy who did 3 years of his PhD then totally dropped it and started all over again. I met him last year when he was in his 4th and final (so he hopes) year of his 2nd PhD. I dread that happening to me, really.

P.S. Standard PhDs in the UK are ideally completed within 3 years, subject to up to 2 years extension; in the US a PhD is longer (a PhD in History at Harvard may take up to 7 years) and I don't know about other parts of the world. I heard in Germany a PhD in Law is around 1 year and a half.

But, what I also dread, is becoming a historian who is only knowledgeable in her area of expertise. For now, I am an art historian by degree specialized in Middle Eastern and Ottoman art and architectural history. And, my PhD falls within the history of the Middle East. Being specialist on the Middle East is definitely an advantage and especially in my field. But, I want to broaden myself and keep myself ready and open to more academic/research opportunities in the future. Thus, I want to extend my knowledge to European history and since I know I can't cover all of Europe, I am mostly interested in Western Europe. Mainly because I am already knowledgeable in this field starting from Byzantium and all the way to recent times. And this is something that could be self-taught. I have already begun reading here and there whenever I have the extra time. Slowly, it shall happen.

Wow. This post is one hell of a post and I don't expect it to be read or even commented on. If you've actually read it and gotten all the way here, I salute you for putting up with useless personal crap that is of no relevance to you. Seriously, this means I am lucky you read my blog. Seriously, thanks. And if you don't, it's alright... because this post, 'it's something from me to me'.